Loved for Who I Am
By Cindy Prindle
Rising Son Youth Ranch, St Joseph, MO
What does every person in this world desire? What need did God plant in all of our hearts from our creation? I John 4:7, says “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God.” We all need and desire to be loved for who we are. Our character and self-esteem are formed from the love and acceptance we do or do not receive from our family. How we feel about ourselves is strongly influenced by how others treat us; and the world can be a very cruel place, especially if we are just a little different from the rest of the crowd. Children can be very hard on each other, especially to a special needs child because they are different. They don’t give anyone a chance to show what kind of person they are, they just mark those who are different as stupid or weird and then ostracize them or make fun of them. But God knows us inside and out. He knew us before we were formed in our mother’s womb and He loves us, not just despite ourselves, but because we are unique and special in His eyes. Psalm 139:13-14, says, “For You formed my inward parts, you covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are your works and that my soul knows very well.”
Before Matt came to our riding therapy ranch, he knew just how cruel others can be. Despite the love and acceptance he received at home, school was a torment to him because he has autism, and doesn’t act like all the other kids. This left him on the outside looking in and caused anger and fits of temper when the teasing got too cruel to bear in silence. Matt’s parents had been receiving calls from the school about Matt’s behavior, and though they understood why he was angry, they were at their wits end about how to help him. Matt needed to learn how much God loves him and protects him. Psalm 22:24, “For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him, but has listened to his cry for help.”
Sarah, Matt’s mother learned about the ranch from a notice in her church bulletin when we were looking for volunteers for the coming riding season. She came initially to help out with horse care. Sarah, a busy mother of 2 with a full time job, had loved being around her cousin’s horses when she was younger, and thought helping with them at our ranch might help her stress levels and give her some time to herself. Her family couldn’t figure out what was so relaxing about cleaning up after a bunch of dirty horses, but Sarah knows from experience, the calming effect horses can have on us humans. Winston Churchill once said, “There’s something about the outside of a horse that’s good for the inside of a man.”
After several weeks of coming on her own, Sarah asked if she could bring her 17 year old son. She explained about Matt’s troubles in school and expressed the desire to see if the horses could help with his anger issues. She wasn’t even sure if Matt would come, since he hadn’t shown any interest in what his mom was doing, but she had to give it a try.
The first week Matt came, we just let him watch us bring the horses into the barn at chore time to feed and groom them. Once they were all eating contentedly, we let Matt enter the stall of a very gentle mare with his Mom and try his hand at brushing her. Despite the fact that Sweetie is calm and loves to be brushed, she made Matt very nervous with her swishing tail and stamping feet. Horses are big, powerful animals, and can be very intimidating the first few times you stand next to them. We had to explain to him that Sweetie was only keeping the flies away and wouldn’t harm him. He needed to be reassured several times that her behavior was normal and non-threatening. He had to make a lot of adjustments to his thinking before he was comfortable around the horses.
After several weeks of brushing and being around the horses, Matt felt he was ready to give riding a try. He and Sarah got Sweetie all cleaned up, and then worked together getting her saddled and bridled. Once they were ready, we led Sweetie to the riding ring and showed Matt how to put his foot in the stirrup and swing his leg over the saddle to mount. He took it all as a matter of course, and was soon riding around the arena, talking softly to his horse and enjoying the experience.
Matt has a very special gift involving numbers. He sees the world as a mathematical equation, just waiting to be solved. He loves to learn the age of anything, from horses to cars, and he loves to count things, so, while he rides, he counts the number of revolutions he makes around the arena, and he counts the stock panels that make up the riding ring, and he makes sure he keeps Sweetie abreast of the progress they are making on their weekly trek. He’s content to just walk slowly around and around while he figures in his head and talks to his horse. Sometimes he will try a short trot, or ride in figure eights around the barrels in the center of the ring, but mostly he just wants to enjoy focusing on Sweetie and the numbers. He finds it soothing and relaxing. Matt told his Mom that it’s not really about the riding, its about the unconditional love the horses offer him, without judgment, and with complete acceptance.
Riding therapy has helped Matt to cope with school and the stress of the world in general, he has much fewer displays of temper; and teasing and taunting don’t get to him as easily as it used to. When asked why he would want to spend time with dirty old horses he replies, “Because they like me just the way I am.”